mad mad world

I’m kind of afraid to write right now. Afraid of the feelings that are going on in my head and heart. This was a crazy mixed up weekend with a lot of disappointment, shock and misunderstandings. But what can you do? People will think what they want to think and believe what makes them feel good and safe.

All I know is that I am done tearing at my clothing and pouring ashes on my head. I am not sorry for anything anymore and I now get to be me again.

Sadly, the musician turned out to be scum. I’m not even going to go there. There isn’t much to tell- it was disappointing to say the least. I think that I deserved it though. I was looking for an outlet and release in a place where I didn’t belong. It was very dangerous to both the body and the soul.

A strange casualty from the fallout of that short lived relationship is the damage it did to another irreparable relationship- but I can’t say I am surprised, I am just surprised it didn’t happen sooner. I refuse to take the blame like I have been for the last 3 months. People shouldn’t be so vain and desperate to seek justification for their actions. Hell, why not just own something for a change?

I’ll probably have a less scattered and more eloquent opinions on these subjects in a week or so. For now I need some rest.

i’m so moving on

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~ by mlvassallo on September 10, 2007.

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